After half an hour
The Waitress: Yes sir? Tea?
F/O: May I have some coffee
W: Oh no sir! Not now!
F/O: I see, well alright, Tea, and some toast
W: Wouldn't you like a sandwich
F/O: No thanks. I'd like some toast
W: What on a hot day like this?
F/O: Yes. Can't you make some?
W: Well, I don't think so, but I'll speak to the manager
F/O: Never mind. I'll have a sandwich.
(In time come tea and sandwich. A few minutes later - cake.)
F/O: Oh, no cake thanks.
(Her eyes light up with joy)
W: Oh, no cake. Oh that's fine!!
(Takes the precious stuff away)
Out with the poply thickulated street surging with the thrilling money I spy a barrow of apples, a rare fruit, some beautiful specimens which I have seen and tasted in far countries. Often I have seen barrows of apples on the street in the last two weeks but they have been green, and these are red. I accost the coster monger noticing he is filling bags with nine green and one red. The green he produces from another basket. The ticket say 10 pence 1/2 LB. I order. Oh no I don't want those green things. I bought some and couldn't eat them. I leave. No. Why should I be dominated by a cheat. I return. Picking up a big red one piled in front of me I ask simply. "Are these for sale" "yes" "Well I would like a pound". The coster proceeds with the usual trick from other baskets. "No, I want a pound of these" The coster say "ave to take 'em as they cum guvnor - Cawn't pick em out specially, aven't toime" "Oh," I said "It's no trouble, I have lots of time. I'll pick them from the top of this pile"
"Cawn't do it guvnor, you'll ave to tike em wotever order they 'appen to come"
"Well, I'm sorry I don't want green ones"
"Theyre alright - look at that! children eat 'em"
"Yes" saith I "and children get belly ache"
"Look - the flowr of England" quoth he holding one up, and the poor green thing nearly went red with embarrassment.
Aldwinckle, Eric, Letter, 7 August 1943
After half an hour