Brittain, Vera, Diary, 2 January 1916

00000303-3.jpg
Description: 
Diary of Vera Brittain

Tabs

Case Study: 
From Youth to Experience: Vera Brittain’s Work for Peace in Two World Wars
Creator: 
Brittain, Vera
Source: 
diary
Date: 
2 January 1916
Collection/Fonds: 
Contributer: 
McMaster University Libraries
Rights: 
Vera Brittain estate; McMaster University has a non-exclusive licence to publish this document.

Identifier: 
00000303-3
Language: 
eng
Type: 
image
Format: 
jpg
Transcript: 

and give him Holy Communion, as the doctors said he might last another 48 hours, but he died quite peacefully at 11 pm. Except for the time when he was actually under the operation, he was conscious from the time he was wounded right up to the very last. Dear strong Soul -- He kept his personality unweakened, unimpaired in the very face of Death even as He would have wished had he known it was Death he had to face -- and I rather suspect and fear they kept this knowledge from him -- mistakenly, I think -- as otherwise he would have sent us a message of some sort. He always used to say to Edward & Victor that if he was dying he would like to know where he stood. But as it was he went gaily down into the Abyss, expecting to wake on the morrow, and thinking that there was a good time ahead. It was deceiving him, and I wish they had not, that is all; he would have sent some message to help us through// the dreary years, and he would not have feared Death when he realised he was meeting the Dark Angel, whom he had often dared, face to face. He kept up a conversation with the Doctor and all of them from the time he was wounded until he reached the hospital. He evidently talked a good deal with Father Purdie, but on religious rather than personal topics, it seems. But I shall write & ask the Chaplain what he knows; we must have been very much in Roland's thoughts, for he was to have seen us in two day's time, and there may have been some casual mention of us. Two sentences -- one in the Colonel's letter & once in the Chaplain's -- hurt me more than anything. The Colonel says "The Boy was wonderfully brave", and the Chaplain "He died at 11 pm after a very gallant fight." Yes, he would have been wonderfully brave; he would have made a gallant fight, even